Painful Thoughts
by Mist.Filled.Eyes
Summary: Gaara lives through battles and missions, political boxing matches and interesting meetings. Surviving through being cheated on and having to tell everyone, including Sasuke.Telling someone a small peice of information suddenly seems much harder.


Gaara twisted and twirled easily and elegantly, making the tango look effortless. He spun down to his knees and back up to straighten and extending one arm to grip the hand of his current partner, none other than his fiancée, Sierra Komo.

Sierra clapped lightly and kicked her heels up against his, keeping time with ease and practice, the song kept them moving quickly and fluidly but Sierra had experience. Her dress shone sky blue in the lighting, highlighting both hers and her partner's intense eyes. Gaara's white coat flew out on the wind of his turn and turned his minor mistake into a tastefully hidden movement.

Tradition had Gaara in the spotlight; dancing first, eating first, speaking first, him doing everything before anyone else would. Gaara thought of these gatherings the same way he thought of a circus. When the lights are off, the ringmaster is just a man. But when the lights come up and show begins the man is no longer a man. He's an act, and he must be flawless or problems begin. He must speak exactly as everyone wants to hear or people begin grumbling about him. And above all he must make sure all eyes are on him or he's not doing his job right.

His fiancée had always moved like a goddess, her movements had caught his eyes in the street and held them. The siren's song that led Gaara to be jumping to dash himself on the killer rocks below. Luckily he had a too-good friend to reach out and grab his hand, holding him in painful animation, torn between the woman he wanted to believe he could love, and the man he knew was seeing straighter then him.

Sasuke Uchiha stood off to the side awkwardly, a woman hitting on him with single-minded intentions. Sasuke merely looked away and pretended like he couldn't see her. Gaara knew that if the last Uchiha really wanted to he probably could get rid of her, but Gaara had asked him to be on his best behaviour. Though Sasuke put up one hell of a fight about even attending, Gaara knew his friend would pull through for him in the end.

Gaara almost growled in annoyance when he spotted the girl practically assaulting Sasuke with her mouth before she could be shoved away. Sasuke held up one hand and told the drunk blond to leave him be and harass some other guy. Sasuke hated women like that, almost everyone knew that. Growing up with a mob of fangirls always out to grab him taught him to avoid loose women.

As Gaara dropped back to his knees, allowing Sierra to mime kicking him down to his elbows, both her hands tossing her dress this way and that over his belt line. As he fell back, the Kazekage wondered to himself; why did I very suddenly really want to kick that stupid woman out of here faster then she could say wine. The redhead already knew the answer, but knew admitting it to himself would make it worse. So he lied to himself again and said it was merely because he didn't like the fact that Sasuke was getting attacked like that.

Gaara used a few tendrils of sand to keep his balance perfect as he glided back to his feet. Sierra slid up against his chest, arching her back just enough to make the movement as smooth as glass. Gaara wrapped one arm around her waist and spun her away, keeping his hand extended for a moment as her purple locks flew up with the wind. Furthering the rumor that the Kazekage could control and make allies with the elements themselves and was merely saving his ability for a time of war.

Everyone thought this was a spur of the moment dance, only a select few were privy to the information that Gaara and Sierra had spent hours practicing this tango. Having pre-chosen the song, giving Gaara ample time to create a series of movements just perfect for that particular song. El Tango De Roxanne had been just so perfect that neither could resist.

Gaara had consulted with his family and his friends on how the hell to go about doing this and all of them said one thing in common. 'Everyone in that room will see you as a powerhouse, a charming powerhouse but a powerhouse none the less. It would get them off to see someone as powerful as you kneeling before a woman, plus every chick in the room would get a kick out of Sierra controlling you.' Gaara agreed completely annoyingly enough, so he kneeled 3 times. Once for a spilt second, twice when Sierra was standing over him. And the third came in the finale.

Sierra smirked, she was anticipating the ending far more then he was. As she slipped back into his embrace placing both her hands, one finger decorated with a ruby engagement ring, on his shoulders. Gaara threw her up into the air and caught her as she spun, his ninja balance coming in handy for once. She pressed her forehead to his and just barely teased her mouth against his before turning on her heel and beginning to walk away.

The song was coming to a close now and Gaara smirked, running slightly, he skidded onto his knees, put both arms around Sierra's waist and pressed his head against the small of her back. Gaara knew the picture they made was perfect. Sierra's face would be one of seduction and a hunter, her arms crossed across her chest as she drummed one hand on her bare arm. Gaara's barely visible face would be just the opposite, enraptured and prey.

Gaara took a second to catch his breath as the room clapped for them, then rose with a brilliant smile and allowed Sierra to take his arm as he guided them both to the bar for a drink. The moment he was done, Sasuke was standing at his shoulder looking supremely grateful that he wasn't dancing anymore. No one ever bothered the young genius when he was guarding the Kazekage.

"Sasuke."

"Sierra," Sasuke swept a bow towards Gaara's date and smiled," Your dancing was marvelous, both of you. Sierra, I must compliment your grace."

Sierra looked almost startled at the blatant compliment, then noticed the crowd watching them, waiting for the conversation to end so as not to be rude and smiled back glamorously," Thank you kindly Sasuke, but really all I did was spin, Gaara's the one that led the dance. He's quite the man."

Liar, the vicious thought almost became a voiced opinion before Gaara could stop it. Sasuke brushed a hand against his own to draw his attention and the word never managed to pass. Gaara turned, smiled and raised an eyebrow in question.

"Incoming idiot at 4 o'clock," Sasuke whispered as he took a offered glass of wine, absently running a fingertip over the rim of the glass to check for poisons. Handing it back to a waiter when he found one.

"Great." Gaara groaned softly and turned. Tapping Sasuke's side in passing he approached the now waving and beaming man. Gaara almost frowned, he'd never met this fat little man before and one look towards Temari and Kankuro told him this guy was bad news. Get your game face on Gaara, time to be Kazekage, the redhead could almost hear Sasuke's usual terms for these situations in his head.

"Our two great countries could never have been friends while your Father - God rest him - was still Kazekage, but now that you are in charge, I'm hopeful that our relationship may be salvaged and built upon," the now annoying little man was talking again and Gaara withheld a curse.

"My Father was a wise man, and though the relationship between us has never been great, I see no reason," Gaara paused to look for Sasuke, his shadow guard never disappeared with telling him, even in their usual silent language of taps and brushes, and the redhead was vaguely concerned that he'd been kidnapped by the crazy drunk woman from earlier," to change the status quo."

Countries that were friends with this guy's seemed to lose a lot of money to keep the 'treaty' fair and happy. With a warring country filled with people who needed anger management more then Gaara ever did, it was no surprise they bullied their way into things. The Land Of Wind however was not one to be intimidated.

"Countries in alliance with you seem to lose money, and from the scrolls and letters I've studied, you threaten your friends even more than your enemies," Gaara sipped his drink then continued," I hope this doesn't affect any future business ventures either of us wish to pursue with any countries in alliance. A good evening to you."

Silence fell and Gaara simply couldn't drum up any sympathy for the man's now injured ego. Everyone assumed that just because Gaara was only 22 years old and turning 23 in a week, he was an idiot. No one ever expected him to be the kind of guy he was, he learned how to act as a Kage back when he was 14, now it was an art he perfected and re-made. Plus, he had been kind of nice at the end, saying that he wouldn't stand in the way if the man tried making friends with Konoha, but also threatening that in response the man should back off when Gaara made a move on an allied country of theirs.

As Gaara disappeared into the crowd, he found himself getting more and more worried about Sasuke. Then a hand on his back, nearly shoving him towards the door had his attention. Best not to make a scene only for it to be some woman, or worse, Sierra. Once they were outside on the balcony, Gaara shifted to his typical fighting stance.

"How dare you---Sasuke?" Gaara stalled completely, outside and alone with Sasuke was the last place he wanted to be there were far to many - okay admit it - chances for his own demons to overwhelm him. Sasuke wouldn't respond well to his best friend suddenly kissing him.

"Problem," Sasuke stepped closer and pressed his hands over Gaara's eyes and shut his own as the room filled up with light so bright that it hurt even through Sasuke's pale hands.

"Attack?"

"No, someone wants every noble in there running blind. I'll be right back, stay here." Sasuke ran back inside and Gaara could very quietly hear him telling everyone to get to the ground and stay there for their own protection. Sierra came running up from behind the Kazekage and grabbed onto Gaara's coat.

"Gaara, what's happening? What was that light?" Sierra was panicking, wonderful. Gaara pulsed his chakra and spoke. It was an unspoken agreement, if one of them pulsed their chakra, than they wanted the others attention. Sasuke no doubt had placed enough chakra in his ears to hear Gaara speaking.

"Sasuke, I'm taking Sierra home. Check with me the second you get back, and if there's any issues, you know how to reach me." Gaara gripped Sierra's waist and dissipated back to her apartment. He placed her on the couch and kissed her forehead," I'll be at my office, it'll be okay."

His words were more to hold himself in check then her. Leaving Sasuke there had put him on edge and he sat on top of the Kage building with a team of ANBU as his shadow. The wind ruffled his spikes and left the smell of the night desert burning in his nose. Such a comfortably nostalgic smell.

"If anyone even thinks that they see a fireball in the sky, we move out." But for an hour and a half there was nothing. Gaara smiled in relief, if Sasuke wasn't signalling him, he was safe. For paranoia's sake though," One of you go check it out and send up a fireball if there's problems."

One ANBU disappeared milliseconds later and no flare went up. Clear. Gaara and the other 5 ANBU all blew away with the wind, reappearing where Gaara had been not long ago.

"Sasuke?" Gaara called as he stepped into the now emptied building. He heard a cough and a cuss and began walking towards it. Only to be held back by an ANBU," What's wrong?"

"Exploding tag got slapped onto my arm while I was running a few pranksters idiots, who didn't know who they were fucking with, out," Sasuke shrugged and Gaara rolled his eyes, brushing the ANBU off and approaching, bringing his sand armor up to cover his hands," By the way, fireworks should always be pointed away from you, the smoke is severely irking."

"This'll hurt," he shrugged and ripped it off the smoke covered shinobi's arm, instantly encasing it with more of his sand. The note exploded and Gaara's sand fell away," I'm going to kick your ass for not signalling me when the possibility of losing your arm showed up." Gaara scruffed the last Uchiha's hair as the ANBU escorted them back.

Sasuke merely smiled with amusement and elbowed his friend lightly," What? Were you actually worried about me?" Sasuke snickered and Gaara scoffed.

"As if! Like I have any reason to be worried about a ex-Akatsuki, S-rank Rogue shinobi who only seems to get into these kinds of situations when he wants to," Gaara shrugged and leaped into his office, groaning at the sight of all his paperwork. Sasuke sighed, put one hand on his arm and looked up.

"I'll get the tea?" Sasuke nodded to himself and walked out. Gaara rolled his eyes, of course Sasuke had the dedication to stay up all night with him and finish the damn paperwork with him. It wasn't much, just 4 piles, but alone it would have taken Gaara the night and a good part of his morning.

While Sasuke was out, Gaara sat in one of the two chairs in the office. Originally there was only 1, but Sasuke spent so much time in here with him that they both figured hell he should be able to sit down. He closed his eyes and they snapped back open when a pressure on his lap startled him.

"Hey baby," Sierra smiled and leaned against him. Gaara almost jolted her off him, of course he wouldn't though because that would break the act, break the thread keeping him professional around his best friend.

"Hey," He forced a smile to his lips and noticed the flicker in Sierra's eyes, the same flicker he used to have back when he was still out of his goddamn mind, the flickering glow of a predator getting exactly what they want," Did you want something?"

"Yes," She tugged at his shirt collar with his lips, leaving a lipstick match up of her mouth. Gaara sighed, Sierra had some form of addiction to staking a claim on him, or kissing him in public when he was in the middle of something," and I was hoping you could help take care of it." She moved onto his cheek, trailing pecks towards his mouth. Gaara actually had to focus to keep his intrigued smile in place.

Then it caught him, cologne. Gaara didn't bother with wearing cologne, the desert scent followed him like a faithful hound, so there was no need. Sierra wouldn't wear something as masculine as that scent. She kissed him aggressively and he - without much difficulty - kept his train of thought. If he felt like being negative this could point to her cheating on him and it probably did. But tonight Gaara was too damn tired to think about that.

The door opened silently, Sasuke almost always moved like he was on a mission, and the onyx haired teen slipped in. Seeing the position Sierra was, both arms wrapped around Gaara's neck, one hand twined in his hair and tongue in his mouth, Sasuke stepped into the shadows and looked away.

Gaara felt a twinge of guilt pulse through him, Sasuke shouldn't have to hide because Gaara was busy. A man like Sasuke should be able to walk into a room and command attention just by his presence.

"Sierra," Gaara pressed his lips to the underside of her jaw and sighed," I have to work. I'll see you in the morning." Gaara stood and walked his fiancée to the door pausing and lightly brushing a hand across Sasuke's shoulder to bring his head up. Sierra turned kissed him quickly and walked away.

"Jeez," Sasuke grumbled as he sat down," Maybe I shouldn't have come, seeing as I just very obviously interrupted something." Sasuke took the tea off his lap placed it on the desk and moved to walk out.

"Sasuke," Gaara stepped quickly and gripped his arm," I apologize for that, Sierra just appeared after I sat down. You didn't interrupt anything I didn't want interrupted. Plus, this should make you happy, I think I might not be marrying her so give it time, you may just get your wish of seeing her knocked down a few rungs."

"I wish to knock her off the frigging ladder but why wouldn't you be marrying her? I thought you loved that crazy chick," Sasuke tilted his head to the left in confusion and Gaara had to step back to stay in control. Masking the movement by taking his green tea off the tray. Sasuke's hair fell into his eyes and blocked some of the light on his face making his eyes shine like they always did in the dimmest lighting.

"A small concern and aren't you pleased," Gaara sat back down and threw a pen to Sasuke.

Between the two of them, starting at 11p.m. it took until 8:30 in the morning to finish the work, by 8 o'clock however, Sasuke was asleep leaning on the desk. Sasuke was excellent for staying up for nights at a time in the heat of a mission, but when there was no threat and it was merely a pen and paper keeping him up, Sasuke tended to pass out.

Gaara rolled his eyes as he signed the last sheet of paper and walked over to Sasuke. He sighed, popped the cork on his gourd and manipulated the sand to ferry Sasuke to the connecting bedroom in the office and drop him on the bed. Gaara put the cork back on and walked out, intent on getting breakfast and hesitating when he heard a moan from in Sierra's apartment. No one would notify him, because they'd assume that he was the one inside.

Gaara lightly brushed his fingertips against the door and focused his chakra. The third eye was helpful, but visible. So Gaara had edited it. Any type of sand he could get his hands on could be used. With enough chakra, he could almost make a one-way mirror. He could see in, they couldn't even see the mirror.

Sierra sat at the table, shirt and bra discarded to the side and hair mussed. Gaara smirked thinking to himself, ah so you are cheating on me, now who's the man?

As if on cue, blond hair slipped up from behind her, planting heated kisses to her shoulders and back," Tamaki," Sierra gasped at something. Gaara didn't even want to know and he dropped the mirror walking away swiftly. Sierra, consider yourself caught. A true shinobi, like the one you used to be, would have known that if you want to conceal something you soundproof the room.

As Gaara's light footfalls echoed in the empty halls Gaara ran through the possible scenarios. The safest place for him to dump Sierra would be anywhere with Sasuke at his side. The hospital would be wisest though, whatever she did to either of them could be fixed in moments and there would be witnesses to her treachery in attacking the Kazekage.

Tamaki would have to be found, wait...Tamaki....Ah yes, that new ANBU. He had transferred here from Konoha with his wife, oh his wife, Gaara almost groaned aloud for the woman. He disappeared into the kitchen finding it deserted and leaned his head on the counter.

Gaara would tell the wife himself, she deserved to know from the other victim. Not some indifferent ANBU. He'd tell her tonight, then work himself hard enough to get into the hospital. His immune system was already losing the battle against a cold so that was perfect timing.

"Sasuke. Oh god, Sasuke, what the hell am I going to do about you," Gaara did groan now. The act he'd been keeping up with Sierra, forcing himself to kiss her, to love her would be broken soon. And then there would how worried Sasuke would be. Every time Gaara ended up in the hospital Sasuke was the first one there, if he collapsed as he would have to, Sasuke wouldn't allow him to be alone.

"Shit what the hell am I going to do," Gaara kicked a wall a bit viciously and cursed his own name," It's your own damn fault for this situation Gaara. You should never have tried to force yourself to marry someone you could never love."

Then it dawned on him. He was being cheated on, that should hurt, or at least make him angry, instead he was concerned only about how the hell he would handle the aftermath of this situation.

_I'll tell the wife tonight, and deal with the rest tomorrow._

The day passed uneventfully in Gaara's eyes and he succeeded in avoiding everyone, Sasuke had always described Gaara's face as easily read. His eyes told stories his mouth would never say so Gaara made to have as little human contact as possible.

Sasuke was having none of that. 2 hours before Gaara left to tell the wife Sasuke cornered him in his office," Gaara you've been avoiding me all day, what's wrong? Did I do something?"

Leave it to Sasuke, Gaara thought bitterly, I'm being an idiot and of course he thinks he's done something to make me angry.

"Sasuke-"

"If you lie to me right now so help me I will hit you," Sasuke balled a fist and placed it on the desk," whatever I did, or whatever I didn't do, I deserve to know now tell the truth," Sasuke growled.

Gaara sighed and looked up. Sasuke looked startled and retreated back a step. Sasuke read him like an open book and he did it often enough to recognize agony when it was being shown. He cussed softly and started talking," I'm sorry."

Gaara shook his head and lifted one finger to his lips, the moment it touched Sasuke fell silent and sat down. Expecting Gaara to explain exactly whatever it is that put Gaara in so much pain. Gaara stepped closer and ran a hand through Sasuke's hair. What a comfort he found in doing that, a small motion that gave away nothing of his addiction to Sasuke but brought him just closer enough to sastify.

"'Suke I have somewhere to be," Gaara paused and raised an eyebrow at Sasuke's mouth opening to protest. Sasuke seemed to notice and leaned into Gaara's hand," but I promise that when I get back, if you want me to, I'll explain everything."

_Liar_. Gaara bit at himself, he would never explain the whole story to Sasuke, he could never explain why he put himself through the motions of dating and proposing to Sierra, because then Sasuke would run. The only guy Gaara ever allowed as close to his heart as he was, would run the other way as fast as he could. And after being part of the rescue team to try and get him back when he was still 12years old. Gaara knew that was incredibly quick.

"I'll wait," Sasuke sighed and Gaara walked out. Heading straight for Tamaki's house. Gaara knew Tamaki himself would be out, he and Sierra were sneaking out to some secluded place tonight. He knocked softly and kept his face grim when Koru answered the door with a smile and a respectful greeting.

Koru was stunning. Long raven locks and bright green eyes that shone brighter then the desert moon. Gaara noticed an odd glow about her but chalked it up to chakra. From inside he could smell her cooking on the stove and shut his eyes for a moment, how tempting it was to just walk away, forget it ever happened. Gaara shook his head softly and looked up forcing the words to his tongue.

"Koru, please, call me Gaara. What I'm about to tell you cannot be said as the Kazekage," Gaara slipped in the door and Koru stood in front of him, arms crossed around her waist. Gaara silently prayed that she wasn't pregnant, but doubted his prayers would be answered," Koru, you won't believe me at all but I pray that you can realize how difficult it is to stand here. But both of us are suffering at cause of this problem."

"Gaara, I'm a ex-shinobi, I don't want you to sugarcoat things for me." Gaara smiled, of course an ex-shinobi wouldn't want that, but she'll be angry with him in a moment.

"Your husband, Tamaki, is cheating on you with my fiancée Sierra," Gaara paused and heard Koru's sharp intake of breath. Then felt the crack across his cheek when she slapped him. Gaara almost gasped in pain, he felt the cut on his cheek from her nail well up with blood and felt it running down his jaw but didn't both lifting a hand to wipe it away. The blood drop ran the path his tears never could.

"How dare you come into my house and lie like this!"

"I'm not. I'm not lying Koru, I saw them together and smelt his cologne on her while she was sitting in my bloody lap. Allow me to guess, you've smelt vanilla off him. A scent he never touched before. That's because that's Sierra's perfume," Gaara sighed," Hit me again if it makes you feel better, I won't persecute you for it, but it won't change the facts."

"Oh god," She glanced into his eyes," You're not lying. You're serious," that was when the tears started coming. She sobbed and Gaara stepped forward allowing her to wrap her arms around his waist and sob into his shirt. Gaara knew he should be crying for himself, but he could only summon up tears of sympathy for the woman before him. For her he felt horrible, for him? Nothing, not a sliver of emotion. Pain of course faced him dead on because of the fact that now, now he'd lose his last friendship.

Sasuke was going to run and that would be the end of emotion. When Sasuke took off, Gaara knew exactly what'd he do. Not because he wanted to, but because his instincts would do it for him, he'd learned the hard way that emotion weakened a man. But still he'd insisted upon trusting Sasuke.

As a child, Shukaku had warned him away from emotional connections. As an adult, he was on his own in a world full of people waiting to backstab him and the last person he had to stand back to back with was not going to be there any longer. Gaara focused and tried to stop the pain that ran like lava through his veins but couldn't. He slipped his arms around Koru's shaking shoulders and stood silent as she cried.

_Today I'll sit with Koru, comfort Koru. Tomorrow, I'll sit alone and pray I keep my sanity after this is over. _


End file.
